The Phantom Poop Smudger

My children started potty training about 7-8 years ago. Every once in a while I would find poo smudges on the toilet bowl and on the bathroom wall. I would just clean it up and forgot about it. However this didn't stop when they were toddlers and became annoying to clean up after. I just recently found smudges on the wall. I assumed it was my son because boys are naturally gross. I called him in the bathroom and screamed at him for being nasty ! His eyes filled up with tears as he started crying hysterically that he didn't do it! I called my daughter over and she actually admitted that she was the one wiping the poo on the wall and toilet. I was really angry at her! I asked her to explain why she was doing that. She looked at me and said "some got on my fingers when I wiped and I wanted to get it off". I explained to her that it was beyond disgusting and if she got some one her finger again then she needed to wipe it off with toilet paper and wash her hands thoroughly!  There have been no more incidents since then thank goodness! I can't believe I blamed my son for so many year..I had to apologize to him for getting him so upset! Poor lil guy.

Death Defying Debo

Our dog Debo is 8 years old. Ever since we moved into our house last year, he has gotten out of our back yard 4 times. The most recent was Friday. Each time he is picked up and brought to the local animal shelter. When they pick him up, he is always running down Rte 130 North and luckily does not get hit by speeding cars. I have spent a total of $230 to get him out of the shelter so far. Each time I pick him up, he is overly ecstatic and all smiles with his tongue hanging out in excitement. He has become a master escape artist! Still not sure how he is getting out. I am beginning to think it's a game to him. Perhaps he has found a girlfriend at the shelter and likes to go for visits.

5 Detentions in 1 day?!!

     My son Jovani can be a handful. He is 7 years old and full of energy!! He does very well with school work...gets all A's & B's. Sometimes he can be a little disruptive and frequently gets detentions. He has received about 20 lunch detentions this year.

    I received a letter the other day from a teacher stating that Jovani was spraying water from the faucet onto the bathroom floor, by plugging it with his thumb. He was also throwing water onto the floor. I have to admit, I could not help but chuckle when I read this! The kicker is he received 5 detentions for the water incident, to be carried out in September. Yep, that's right...he already has 5 detentions for next school year! I think he is going for a school record.

    

Freakin Mashed Potatoes!

     Every week day I come home from work and make dinner for my family. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Monday night I happened to make pork chops, garlic mashed potatoes, gravy and corn. I brought my husband his plate and instead of saying "thank you" he says "ugh mashed potatoes?". I was beginning to become irritated and responded "What's wrong with mashed potatoes?". I was then informed that he had them the night before at his mom's and I should use some freakin common sense...he doesn't like to eat the same thing two days in a row. After this comment I went from being irritated to extremely pissed. I had to fight the urge to throw the mashed potatoes at him! We did not speak to each other the rest of the night.

     The next day I sent him a text requesting an apology for the way he spoke to me. He replied back stating that he would apologize when I started using common sense. This sent me a lil over the edge! I told my husband that until I got an apology, I would not make him dinner. The knucklehead then stated that he didn't care and would make dinner for himself. There was a lot of back and forth arguing after that. About 3 hours later he sent me the following text: I'm sorry...U happy now...Big baby!! Me being the smart ass that I am responded with "No. That was a weak apology". I eventually said thank you for attempting to apologize. I am still in a state of disbelief that I was cursed out and we got into such a heated argument over Mashed Potatoes!!!